Baby #3 - Funneling and Bedrest

    The ultrasound tech knew she was seeing something that COULD be a problem, but she wanted me to meet with the doctor before "diagnosing" me. So we waited anxiously in yet another room. :) The doctor came in and told me that there was funneling. Essentially my cervix has been effacing from the inside out. In less than a week it was showing that I'd effaced over 2 cm. Needless to say I was put on bed rest right away with another appointment scheduled two days later. Same thing, possibly just a little worse at our appointment Wednesday. The doctor wasn't sure what to think because the funneling wasn't presenting at all times, just here and there. He wanted to consult with a perinatologist and talk to me again Friday about different options. I was told to go home and was on STRICT bed rest. I was to lay, preferably on my left side, at all times except to eat, go to the bathroom, and to shower. We did that for two days until my appointment on Friday. During that two day period I researched all sorts of things about funneling, cerclage (sewing my cervix shut), and many other things. That night I felt really strongly I should have a cerclage.
    Before my appointment Friday, my favorite nurse texted me and told me not to eat or drink anything. We knew then they wanted to do the cerclage as well. We went and waited to see what they said. The doctor did another ultrasound and then we talked about doing a cerclage. Once we'd agreed on that they worked on getting an OR ready for me about an hour later. We headed straight to the hospital from the doctor's office (less than a block away) and checked ourselves in. They did all sorts of prep work and got all the paperwork, IVs, etc done. Then I just waited in the hospital room for them to wheel me back. Hubby was allowed to wait in my room, so before I was taken back he ran to get some food, and some chapstick for me :) If all went well the procedure was only supposed to take 10-15 minutes.
   I was wheeled into the OR and was given a spinal anesthesia, similar to an epidural but way lower, and they gave me a different drug so it only lasted about an hour and a half so I could go home sooner. Once I was numb they started the procedure. I was awake and talking during the entire procedure and he ended up putting in two stitches. All looked well when being monitored by ultrasound at the same time. After the doctor told me it had gone better than his best hope had been, and that he knew he'd had some extra help from above. I was then monitored for about 30 minutes before being taken back to my hospital room and my waiting hubby. All looked great. I felt like crap and was pretty tired, but was glad all went well. A nurse from labor and delivery came down with a fetal doppler so I could hear my baby. She had a HARD time finding it. I wasn't even worried since I'd heard it during and after the surgery, I just felt she was incompetent haha. She finally found it after about 15-20 minutes. I was allowed to go home a few hours later once everything had woken up. I went into the OR after 1, and was home by 5. More bedrest was prescribed until my appointment on Monday.
    The next day came, and I decided I wanted to hear that heartbeat again, just for peace of mind. My favorite nurse was already in the clinic despite it being a "day off" and told me to come right in. When I walked in the doctor told me he'd just been about to call me and did a full check of me. Vaginal ultrasound, check with a speculum, and an internal exam. It HURT BAD since I was so sore. It was about my 5th internal check this pregnancy,  but I cried... a lot. Everything looked way better than expected after less than 24 hours later. I was told to continue with bedrest.
   On Monday I went in for another appointment. My nurse had told the doctor how darn sore I was (a different doctor), and he decided not to aggravate me more. Heartbeat looked good, and was told bedrest for another week. Tomorrow (Monday the 10th) is my next appointment. It's the big 20 week ultrasound, and the usual checks I've been getting and another fun progesterone shot. Results to come!!

Baby #3 - Part 2

   I was seen by doctors right away during this pregnancy because I was considered high risk... especially since we don't know why we had Baby #2 so early. I can't exactly remember the order things happened... I think I first got an ultrasound around 5 weeks because I was spotting. Whatever the order, I've had a LOT of ultrasounds this pregnancy. In my first trimester I was tested for gestational diabetes and also had to monitor my blood sugar at home. The same day I took my 3-hour test for gestational diabetes, I first went in fasting for ALL these vials of blood. Holy moly.

 

   I'm lucky to have such wonderful doctors that have been willing to check me out whenever I want, and have worked with me so well. All appointments, ultrasounds, and blood work had come back fantastic so we were proceeding with me being just high risk, but not knowing why. The Wednesday before Thanksgiving the doctor and my favorite nurse EVER went into the office especially for me because I was having back pain, and we were concerned because I'd had BAD back labor with Baby #2. All looked great, so we scheduled another appointment for Monday morning when I was supposed to be getting my 2nd progesterone shot anyway. They wanted to do an ultrasound to double check that everything was looking good, and I really wanted one for peace of mind since I was entering my 18th week on the 25th of November and we had Baby #2 when I was 18.5 weeks.

   Monday came and I got my shot after a long wait in the waiting room. They then turned on an OLD ultrasound machine, but left right away. When they came back into the room I asked for them to tell me gender if at all possible during the ultrasound (they'd been doing mostly vaginal ultrasounds, but baby did NOT like to cooperate during any of the others) to give me something else to focus on during a week that would've been tough for me emotionally. They told me they'd need a better machine, and I said that I would wait. :)

   They moved me to another room, and then the ultrasound tech decided to do it herself so I moved into yet another room. They did the ultrasound on my belly and she was 90% sure it was a boy. Like I said, baby does NOT like to cooperate! Then, they wanted to check my cervix again, so she did a vaginal ultrasound. That's when they found the funneling...

Baby #3 - The beginning!

We'd been trying for a few months (ever since we were given the go-ahead by doctors that it was safe to try again). I REALLY wanted a baby, and I especially wanted to be pregnant again before my due date with Baby #2 arrived (August 21). We tried for a few months without success. My cycle tends to be fairly regular and always starts in the morning. Well, after wasting a few high end pregnancy tests I decided I WOULD be patient, and wait until a week after. The day my period was supposed to come... nothing happened. I was doing my best not to think about it, and succeeded fairly well since I didn't want to waste a lot of money on tests... again, until a friend asked if I'd taken a test yet, and suggested some dollar store pregnancy tests that had worked with her about a month earlier. I decided to run to the dollar store and I bought 3. I then had other errands and stuff that kept me busy all day. She asked if I'd taken one, but I hadn't gotten around to it. By the time I got home it was time for Baby #1's bedtime, so I hurried and fed her, and decided to take a test while she was eating. I watched the progression and when two lines didn't show up like they had in the past with this type of test, I got frustrated and walked away. Baby #1 ended up having a tantrum, and by the time I checked the test again awhile later, it had been at least an hour, but TWO LINES were there. I was shocked, but I'd heard about a line of demarcation that can give false positives so I called my friend who'd taken this type of test before. She said she wasn't sure and to take another.
    So I did. I took another test and two lines showed up again! To be safe I also took a digital clear blue test with the same result. WE WERE PREGNANT! Yay! I found out I was pregnant 4 days before my due date... My prayers were answered!

Since hubby was very aware of my cycle at this point, I knew I wouldn't be able to keep the secret for very long. I hurried and made him a little horoscope to share the news:

Baby #2's Birth Story - Our sweet angel in Heaven

Baby #2’s Birth Story

Warning: This is a BIRTH STORY… so there might be TMI. Feel free not to read. It has a lot of information because I didn’t want to forget (so it's pretty darn long). Also, this isn’t the happiest ending like most birth stories, so proceed with caution!

Born: March 24, 2012

Time: 1:30 AM

Weight: Unknown

Age: 18.5 Weeks

With us for approximately 30 minutes

I’ve been wanting to write Baby #2’s birth story for months, but have never had the heart or the willpower. Today I was already super emotional after finding out that I am once again not pregnant. Words cannot express how disappointed I am. Although we were trying for both Baby #2 and Baby #1, I have never wanted to be pregnant and have a baby more. Maybe it’s because I got halfway through a pregnancy and didn’t have the opportunity to bring my sweet baby home with me. Whatever the reason, I am finally writing her story tonight.

The week before I had Baby #2, Mr. Toberman was in another town for a training meeting for work. Instead of being home alone for the whole week I opted to go to my sister’s house about 30 minutes away. It gave us both some company and was a good trip. She came and picked me up, along with a dresser I’d been wanting to paint since Mr. Toberman and I got married. We spent the week shopping, taking care of children, and painting! It was fun, and on Thursday, March 22 we came back into town. We went to a thrift store (I think we went somewhere else, but I can’t remember now where that was). She then dropped me off at my house around 5:30. I was exhausted. Baby #1 was pretty darn crabby because she didn’t get a nap that day, and she was used to being around other kids at that point. So I decided we should go for a walk. I was so impressed by her. She was having fun in the stroller and yelled “Hi” or “Hello” to some guys playing basketball (it was a new thing at the time). I remember texting Mr. Toberman and he couldn’t believe it. We got back home after a short 5-10 minute walk. I fed her and laid her down around or a little before 7.

I then looked at the mess that was all over our living room. She hadn’t had any time to play that day but we’d left the mess before leaving for my sister’s house earlier in the week. At that point I was SO exhausted and I hurt ALL over. I just felt AWFUL. Finally, I decided to go to the bathroom and then to get going on cleaning up all of her toys since Mr. T would be coming home soon, and I don’t like him having to come home to a huge mess. I had been talking to a different sister before that and we were planning on Skyping afterward while I cleaned so I could get some motivation and encouragement. I went into the bathroom and while I was going I felt something else push out. I had a feeling that I had either miscarried or had passed my mucus plug and my water had broken since a huge gush came out with whatever it was (you have to remember my water never broke with Baby #1 so this was all new territory). It was around 8:00 PM and I was 18.5 weeks. I burst into tears. I sat in the bathroom afraid to stand up and check what had gone on. After I calmed down a little, I called the sister I was going to Skype, but got no answer. I then called the sister I'd stayed with. She didn’t think my water had broken and we got off the phone shortly, but I was still super concerned. I finally stood and decided my water had indeed broken. I didn’t know what to do. I felt like I needed to go in but I’d never had my water broken before so I was unsure if that was really what had happened. I’m a “better be safe than sorry” kind of girl, but I decided just to take it easy for a little bit and see if I proceeded to leak amniotic fluid. I did. I had to change my underwear. I then put on a thicker pad and by that point that sister had called me back. She said she felt she’d dismissed me too fast and that I should go in. I told her I was feeling the same thing. We hung up and by this point I had texted my mom and sisters telling them I was going to go in. I called/texted one of my other friends, and only said, “Can you please come over”. Since I don’t ever just say that, she said she’d be over within 5 minutes. She came right over and I apologized for the toy mess (I know a silly thing to worry about, right?) I briefly told her what was going on and asked her to please listen for Baby #1.

I then drove to the hospital and was on a three-way call with my mom and one of my sister's on the way. Mr. T was on his way home from his training meeting (about 5 hours away) and planned to just meet me there. I went in and had to check in with the receptionist. I told her my water had broken and burst into tears (impossible to hold back at that point since I’d been crying since the meltdown I had in the bathroom). I told her that I knew this was normally a happy thing but that I was only 18.5 weeks. She kept saying she was sorry and had me fill out all sorts of paperwork. Finally she buzzed me in and a nurse led me to an exam room. She didn’t really think my water had broken but checked me anyway. It had. She left to call the doctor and figure out what he wanted to do. A different nurse came back in to talk and ask questions. She tried to find Baby #2’s heartbeat but couldn’t. She then called the doctor, and told me that the doctor wanted to come in to perform an ultrasound himself. Mr. T finally showed up while we waited for the doctor to arrive. When the doctor arrived he did an ultrasound (it’d taken him awhile because he was out playing with his kids… he was even in street clothes). He found that there was VERY little amniotic fluid surrounding the baby. He said that there was probably a small leak (he was hoping anyway) caused by an infection or some other cause, and that the amniotic fluid had slowly accumulated causing the mucus plug to come out because of the buildup. He didn’t want to do an external examination because that usually causes more harm. He prescribed some STRONG antibiotics and sent me home with STRICT bed rest instructions.

We came home and went to bed shortly after my friend left. I slept just fine. Mr. T wouldn’t let me leave our bedroom or bed except to go to the bathroom so he took care of Baby #1 all morning until around 12. A little after that one of our friends, came over to help Mr. T give me a blessing. It stated that Baby #2 would be carried to term and that I would be healthy. Those are the only things I really remember. All day I felt that it didn’t necessarily mean I would make it to 40 weeks. I felt uneasy and SUPER emotional all day. Our friend stayed at our house all day to help and keep us company along with his wife, who came a few hours after the blessing. I remember getting upset about dinner because it had made me gag the whole pregnancy whenever Mr. T made it and I was starving. I also remember having 2 contractions in my uterus. I think we just watched movies that night but I honestly don’t remember.

Our friends left, maybe around 10, and told us to call them if we needed anything. We said that we doubted we would, and went to bed since Mr. T had to work at 6 the next morning. I laid there forever. I couldn’t get comfortable, I was emotional, and I just couldn’t stop thinking. Finally, I was just about to sleep and then horrible back labor started. At first I didn’t know what was going on (again I didn’t have true labor with Baby #1, and I was half asleep). I would almost fall back asleep in between contractions and then they would start again. I was in awful amounts of pain. This continued for a few hours before I woke up Mr. T. They were less than a minute apart and hurt really really bad. I made him push on my back during the contractions and search for a heat pad when I wasn’t having them. Finally I couldn’t bear it. I had him call the hospital to see what we should do. I then ran into the bathroom because I really felt like I needed to go and wanted to be in there just in case. I went and sat in there and made him come in to rub my back whenever a contraction came. I ended up having Baby #2 right there, and all the pain vanished. Mr. T wasn’t even in the room when it happened, but I called him back in and told him. That’s when he broke down. I was surprisingly okay since I’d been emotional all day and basically had accepted it. I took the phone from Mr. T (while he called those same great friends to come listen for Kaylee) and asked the people at the hospital “what do we do now”. I wasn’t delivering my placenta, so they had me wrap her up in a towel and asked if we could drive ourselves. Mr. T said he could. Our friends arrived, as we were getting ready to go. They helped us by laying out my shoes and taking down the baby gate at the bottom of the stairs. We loaded up in the car and headed to the hospital across town. Mr. T kept trying to stop at stop signs and I told him just to keep going cautiously but not to stop (it was around 2am). We pulled up and the nurse that had helped us the night before and the doctor on call (who also delivered Baby #1) were standing outside the ER waiting for us with a wheelchair. They wheeled me back and Mr. T went to park.

Mr. T arrived right as they wanted to cut the umbilical cord. The doctor also asked if we wanted to give a name and a blessing (oh the beauties of the Mormon bubble!) We said yes and had a split second to decide to go with the ONLY name mentioned this pregnancy. Mr. T got to do the honors and cut the umbilical cord this time. Right after he cut the cord he gave Baby #2 a blessing. I don’t remember a word, and I doubt anyone wrote it down. :( She was with us for about 30 minutes, maybe less. I held her for about 10 minutes (she looked absolutely PERFECT, but incredibly tiny) and then Mr. T held her while the doctor checked me out (the placenta still hadn’t delivered). I felt NO pain except that darn speculum. I was actively bleeding so they scheduled an emergency D&C. They came and took Baby #2 at that point because Mr. T needed to be able to fill out paperwork and help. She’d passed away by that point. People were coming and poking me for blood samples, and getting IV’s figured out. They put my IV in the fold of my elbow. I hated it there, especially after I woke back up, but more on that later. We got to the Operating Room and my nurse was a CRAB. I didn’t like her one bit. She told me where to scoot to from the bed I was in to the one in the room. I followed what she said but did it wrong and got in trouble for that. They were bustling around getting things ready. I only remember hoping they’d put me under soon since I disliked that nurse so much. They did, and I woke up and it was over. I remember the doctor saying my name and that I needed to wake up but remember nothing else. He left, and I immediately asked if I could roll over. The nurse looked at me and just said sure. No help offered or anything so I used my arms and hauled myself to my side using the rails on the bed (the IV in my elbow helped a lot). Josh helped me text my family with more information. I remember saying that I wanted my mommy so he helped me call her. She decided right away to come out to help and for support. My sister who lives nearby was already on her way, and I was very glad for that. Mr. T ended up deciding to go home to relieve our friends and to take care of Baby #1. My sister kept trying to let me sleep, but I didn’t sleep any more that whole day. I was in a nosy room near loud fans and those blood pressure cuffs they put on your feet to prevent clots BUG me. I finally got them taken off but still couldn’t sleep. My sister and Mr. T alternated taking care of Baby #1 and they’d also brought her in for me to see. I was finally able to shower and then went home shortly after. I didn’t have any pain and only took one of my pain relievers after just as a precaution. I also didn’t have my milk come in which I was very grateful for. My brother, my mom, and my dad arrived on Sunday afternoon. They were a big help since I wasn’t allowed to lift Baby #1 for a few weeks. We had a funeral service for Baby #2 while they were here and we had a really surprising turnout. I was so grateful to everyone for their support. It’s been really hard for me to not be able to hold my sweet baby girl, and I can’t wait to see her again. I LOVE the picture my parents bought for me. It’s a constant reminder that she’s in Heavenly Father and Jesus’ care until I return to be with her. I’ve included a copy of the print, which is called In His Constant Care, by Simon Dewey. Thanks Mom and Dad! I felt I needed to write this for myself, and for anyone else who wants to read it, feels they need to, or who has gone through something similar. It’s not a taboo subject. I have a daughter who is no longer with me, and I like when people acknowledge that. Feel free to talk to me about it at ANY time. I can’t promise I won’t cry, but I do promise it doesn’t bother me to talk about her at all. In fact, I enjoy it. Love you all!

Baby #1's Birth Story

Sunday, October 17, 2010

10:40 PM 

5 lbs 14 oz

18 inches long

On Saturday, October 16, I finally let myself believe that I might be having contractions. They weren't strong, or anything, so I really didn't know what to think. I felt uncomfortable, but I was 37.5 weeks pregnant so of course I was uncomfortable. By that point I had the feeling that Baby #1 would be coming into the world pretty soon. Mr. T didn't really believe that I was having contractions, and they weren't really getting stronger or any closer together so I didn't really think much would happen at that point.

On Sunday, I was still having some contractions, but we went to church at one. Mr. T was having fun poking Baby #1 during sacrament, and I was having oh so much fun on a pew with contractions. :) I kept having this thought that my water would break during relief society so I had Mr. T give me the keys before we split for the final hour. (I didn't want to have it break during relief society and then have to wait for him to come let me into the car!) During the last 10 minutes of relief society I really thought my water had broken. I told Mr. T after church but he thought I was crazy. He even leaned down and talked to Baby #1 and told her she wasn't coming out that day.

We were going to have a couple of friends over for dinner after church, so we came home and Mr. T started to straighten up a little before they arrived. I went in and packed my hospital bag. I mean got it COMPLETELY 100% ready to go. Makeup and things I use everyday included. Mr. T wanted me to help clean/cook, but I said this was more important since she was coming that day. We got dinner ready, ate it, and then I did the dishes so they'd be done when I got out of the hospital. Then, I asked my friend if she wanted to go on a field trip with me while Mr. T went home teaching since Josh thought I was crazy. She was due in December and was more than willing to see how it all works to get admitted at the end so she decided to drive me up to the hospital. Her car wouldn't start however, so we ended up taking our car. They all thought it was funny that I was driving myself up to the hospital, but it's what my sister did too so it all worked out. :)

We got to the hospital and I told them I thought my water had broken. They checked me and found that I was dilated to a 5, but it hadn't broken. The nurse said she couldn't feel a head though, and wasn't sure WHAT she was feeling and wanted to do an ultrasound. However, the ultrasound machine didn't work, so the nurse said I'd probably be sent home. She called the doctor, but he REALLY wanted us to have the ultrasound, so they called in a tech from another town. An hour later, we were getting an ultrasound. During the ultrasound they found out Baby #1 was breech. This was pretty crazy because she had been head down at my last appointment (about three days before). The nurse said once again that I'd probably be sent home since I wasn't in active labor, but that she would call the doctor to make sure. She said most likely they would try to manually turn her from the outside at my next appointment. Then she came back and said the doctor wanted to come in and talk to us. We figured it would be about the possibility of a c-section.

We waited about 40 minutes for the doctor. He came in and said that Baby #1 was in the worst breech position to be able to turn her, and that it rarely has success and can be dangerous. He said he would suggest either a c-section, or an epidural to turn her and be in the surgical room in case something went wrong and they needed to do an emergency c-section. He said it was against everything in his medical opinion to send us home at this point because my contractions were consistent, just far apart, and that Baby #1's cord could drop or something during labor and cause major problems. We asked him for his opinion on what to do and he said that a c-section would be the safest option. Needless to say, we decided to go for it so we could have a safe, and healthy baby girl.  Mr. T asked him when it would all be happening and he said within the hour.We listened to the whole talk about the risks involved and Mr. T didn't really like that there was a possibility that I could die. He kept telling me how much I meant and that he didn't want to lose me. It was probably the sweetest moment I'd ever had with him.

At that point we hadn't even really told our parents where we were because we didn't want to tell them about going to the hospital only to be sent home, so we had to hurry and contact everyone (this was ALL done while getting prepped for the c-section) and let them know I was going into surgery. Then I was taken to the surgical room where they gave me the spinal, and all that jazz. They were really concerned because they'd only gotten 1/4 of the fluids into me that they'd wanted and I'd eaten 4 hours earlier than they like for a c-section, but we had little choice.

Once I was all ready, they let Mr. T in and he stayed by my head to talk to me. He didn't want to watch anything because he's a pretty queasy guy. Although I was numb I knew the SECOND they took her out of me. It was a very strange feeling. I told Mr. T that she was out and he asked if I was sure. Just then she started crying. It was the most beautiful sound EVER. It made both of us cry. It's crazy how fast they can touch our lives! Then the next hour, they stitched me up and put everything back together. Mr. T went and watched Baby #1 get all her vitals checked through a window that led to the NICU. He came back to me when he was supposed to leave and I was feeling really sick by then because of all they were doing with my insides. He left, and I ended up getting really sick. The anesthesiologist was really surprised how well I'd done. They got me all stitched up and wheeled me into a recovery room where I was monitored. By this point I was frustrated because it'd been an hour and I hadn't seen my husband or my baby girl. I finally got to see them both over 2 hours after the surgery. I bawled when I saw Baby #1 for the first time. She was just so beautiful and I couldn't believe how blessed I was to be able to her mom.

The doctor told me that we were VERY lucky that we'd done a c-section. I had a few benign cysts on my fallopian tubes that he was able to take care of, AND the cord had been wrapped around her neck really tight THREE times. He had to put her back inside to get it off because it was so tight.We were SO blessed because of all his inspiration through the whole thing!

There's the story of our wonderful, little miracle!!